“I am sorry sir,” although deep down inside this wretched excuse of a human being was the furthest thing from a sir that I could ever possibly imagine, “It says on the menu that cheese and sour cream are $1.75 extra.” I explained as sincerely as I could. “Well that is just stupid, you didn’t say anything about that when you asked if I wanted some, $1.75 for cheese and sour cream is ridiculous, I will never pay $1.75 for cheese and sour cream” I sat there lost in my thoughts wondering what my father would think of me if he new that I was a grown man sharing a meal with a bunch of coworkers acting like a spoiled child. You see deep down inside I thought that $1.75 for sour cream was a rip-off, but I also new that I was just a waiter, and my employer made the rules so I followed them. I also thought that $14.95 for a plate of enchiladas was a rip-off so I said the first thing that came to my mind. “Sir if $1.75 is such a pressing issue, why don’t you just head over to the Pancho’s across the street where you can get all of the sour cream and cheese that you can eat for free by just raising a flag.” I made a simple waiter half smile and dropped the check off to the women sitting next to him.

In any other circumstance I could have been fired and I wouldn’t have cared. I was building my first Vintage Store and waiting tables was just a way to keep a steady cash flow and stay busy until the shop was opened. What happened next surprised even me; you see this was what you call a big top at a restaurant. If you have ever worked in the service industry as a waiter, a big top is generally a party of eight guests or more. You usually have to put together a few tables in your section to accommodate the larger parties. Sometimes you can make good money for service industry standards; instead of waiting on six or ten separate parties throughout your shift you wait on a couple and get larger tips. The problem with this big top was that this was during the lunch rush and not the dinner rush; most of the big tops at lunch time were just a group of coworkers from one of the local technology companies in the immediate area. As in most cases with a group of coworkers at lunch they ask that you split their checks separately. Then as sure as the high tide following the low, there is always the loser in the group that skimps from leaving you a tip, or paying his entire bill in some cases. These individuals were hoping that the bill would all be put together on one tab then they would conveniently use the bathroom or sneak out early before the bill arrived leaving the group the responsibility of splitting their portion. As a waiter I didn’t like having to work the lunch shift, and people like this were one of the main reasons why. I new who this guy was, I saw him every shift, not him in particular, but his kind. He thought that he was so crafty, completely un-aware that he was a statistic, developed and molded by his very own parents.

Right when the bratty adult was about to say something, probably degrading me for working as a server, or demanding to see my manager one of the other guests at the table chimed in and played off of what I said about the all you can eat Mexican Restaurant across the street where you could raise a flag and have the server bring more portions directly to your table. I can not actually remember what was said but it didn’t matter because someone else chimed in. It took the attention off of me and now he had to defend himself amongst his pears. I continued passing out the rest of the checks and then proceeded to run 16 different credit card transactions for 14 guests under $20 bucks a piece, great.

I was pleasantly surprised because a few people left nice little notes like, Good Job! and Great Service! with a sketched in happy face on their credit card receipts, I guess as a way of apologizing for their coworkers attitude or as a way of saying that they know this guy is a looser because they have to work with him every day. They probably didn’t even want him to come to lunch but they had to ask him because he worked in their department and it was easier to invite him along than avoid talking about lunch all together in an attempt to leave him out. As any one who has ever worked in an office cubicle answering phone and punching numbers knows, talking about last nights prime time line-up and what you are doing for lunch is one of the only things that keep you sane throughout your shift. I remember thinking at that point that I would never raise a bratty kid, because bratty kids grow into bratty adults.

Ricky Coburn is a regular contributor to Fashion & Recycling and information website about recycling clothing and Born Activist a blog about organic gardening and urban agriculture..